The End.

Listening to Louis Armstrong serenade me with ‘What a wonderful world’ and it’s time I ended this blog…cheers friends, I will be back in some other avatar and sure would be reading your rants, ideas and thoughts.Till then I’d be figuring out this strange thing called life and pursuing something.

Goodbye and thanks for reading.

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Kleenex street installation

Installed at the First Fleet Park in Sydney, Australia, the Kleenex Tissue Tree is an example of Guerilla marketing done right. The tree is wrapped in silk and it gives our Kleenex tissues, environmental issues aside this is a cool idea.

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Of search, bird sex and a remarkably fast journey of becoming a verb.

When someone introduces a useless idea (or one that is narrow in scope) on the Internet, it gets linked, picked, praised, talked about till the transformation from a phenomena to sheer bullshit is complete.

I am taking about Wolfram Alpha. Because among other places, it has been talked about here , here and here.

I have heard enough things about Wolfram already, including the awesomeness of narrow, focused search and a smarter alternative to Google. Isn’t it what is being said about Kosmix and Deep Peep. What, you didn’t know that? Have you been living under a rock? Oh. Sorry.

The first thing you have to understand is, that for the general internet population, Wolfram is fucking useless. When you truly look up something that is going to change your life in this website, drop me a line. And when that counter hits five figures, I will remove this post.

I have a simple test, quite childish but it has an unusually high success rate. I call it the Bird Sex Test. I started it when I was in seventh or eighth grade, when I asked my biology teacher question from the very back of the class – How do birds have sex? Amidst the laughter in class, she was not amused and threatened to take action against me if I didn’t behave. One girl told me birds don’t have sex since they lay eggs. I heard she is now living in a forest with a parakeet as her husband and her small but vibrant community includes Kevin Costner living with a Wolf, Mel Gibson living with a dog, Robert Redford living with a horse and Kanye West living with what is assumed to be a gay fish.

See where I am going with this? No? Sorry. If you suspect someone of being a bore, prude or just getting to know someone, ask the question – How do birds have sex? Usually I find it worth my while to stick with people who either give me a factual scientific answer or the ones who give a crazy funny answer (e.g In the same awkward manner like me, except without the alcohol…oh…that gives an idea I need to go to the pet store tomorrow).

Wolfram Alpha, of course, failed the test.

While Google aced it. (That’s 3 76 0000 results for you!)

That’s why nothing can replace Google, somewhere some kid is searching for shit like this and no one can satisfy quite like Google.

The second test I have is the verb test. Xerox has it. Google has it. For instance, no one finds it creepy anymore if you tell them that you Googled them. It’s assumed whatever you put online will be read by people whom you really don’t want to. Tell someone that you Wolfram Alpha’d them – they will run to the nearest cop. Or ask you what kind of sexual position is that and will their vital organs be functional after?

Seriously, Wolfram Alpha is a stupid name for a website claiming to ‘compute the world’s knowledge’. Not to mention the ultimate testament to the fucking ego of the guy who started this. This makes me wonder, how the hell did this useless idea get such free press? Did he hire Jesus as his publicist? No. Oh, it must be Scott Boras then.

Okay I admit, Wolfram Alpha is about numbers. And the saying usually goes that numbers don’t lie. This is the mantra spitted out in all MBA schools. I should know, I took classes in one. The ugly fact is nothing actually lies more persuasively than numbers. The current financial crises should be enough to prove that statement.

Still not convinced? The Goons will convince you what an exercise in futility this Wolfram Alpha thing is.

Despite everything, this is still only the second worst thing to come out of Britain this year.

UPDATE: Microsoft has made a huge splash about Bing – their yet to be launched search engine. They are going for the verb thing but are somewhat behind because Urban Dictionary has already defined Bing for them. And the required plug-in, an NYT article ends with this priceless acronym for Bing – But It’s Not Google! Haha!

Meanwhile, un-neglected child models are wrapped and made to sniff glue

The Australian Childhood Foundation has done a “creative” poster. I am assuming it’s from JWT Melbourne. And I’m also assuming this is not fake. Because I do want to live in a world, where the love of awards makes an advertising agency convince a Childhood Foundation to do this to a child.

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Tragic beauty

Haiti was ravaged by a hurricane last year, that led to much devastation in an already poor country. Patrick Farrell was there to document the tragedy for the world to see. And now he has won a Pulitzer prize. I won’t congratulate him, but I thank him for his efforts.

The lifeless body of 5 year old Tamasha Jean, the daughter of Frantz Samedi, is loaded onto a pickup truck in Cabaret.

Patrick Farrell’s Pulitzer prize-winning selection of photographs.

No one does camouflage better than these Iranian snipers

This is just delightful…Iranian snipers parading at the annual army day, scaring the shit out of old people while children everywhere were laughing thier assess off.

Be scared…but please don’t throw cigarette butts at these guys.

Tim Dowling: Iranian Sniper or Wookiee? How to tell them apart.

The Fratellis

They have been around a while…I just came across them and they are really very good. A few samples…

An insight into the complicated workings of the US Treasury Department

This explains so much.

Modern Art explained through modern art.

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What’s on top of your house?

Click to enlarge. Slightly NSFW.

From the BBC…

An 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing on the roof of his parents’ £1million mansion near Inkpen in Berkshire.

Comcast – Apply directly to the forehead.

This Comcast commercial has been out for a while now and to be honest, it’s a sub-par effort. The only thing that stands out is the technique, though I wonder why they didn’t have a compelling story to match it. There have been many ads that have used animation and digital video – very badly – like Charles Schwab and that annoying E-Trade baby. Well, come to think of it all babies are annoying. I digress.

Here is the Comcast advert:

Talk about sitting in advertising ivory tower…who the hell in the world sings about cable, internet and telephone? The blend of animation on digital video with stunning effect was done for the movie Waking Life. Here is the New York Times take on this movie and the technique:

‘Visually, ”Waking Life” is a technological coup: it transforms photographed reality into a sophisticated cartoon world by superimposing brightly hued digital animation on live-action digital video. Mr. Linklater’s stroke of brilliance is his application of this technique to an open-ended fable about perception itself. I can’t imagine a more powerful visual metaphor for the suspension between waking and dreaming evoked by the movie than this surreal merging of photography and animation.’

Here is a cool scene from the movie – wait, go get some magic herbs or a chug down a stiff drink first.

From a company whose name comes from Vanilla Ice’s major fanbase, comes with delightful viral.

This is apology we can’t believe in, but yes we can enjoy it regardless.

The only thing I am scared of about this viral is that ‘Ice Ice Baby’ becoming the default ironic ring tone for hipsters. That would be cruel.

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Lights off at You Tube

You Tube has a new feature, well it maybe old but I came across it recently…it’s called lights off. Lights off lets you clear the screen, makes the background dark so you can enjoy the content without any distractions. That’s of course assuming you, like me, drink some brandy and search for Beethoven at You Tube. Here is the screen grab.

It takes an even darker turn in the comments, when it comes to Mozart’s 41st…

WSJ – Dope we can believe in

Life has been difficult for WSJ for years now. It was taken over by a mongrel from Down Under, conservatism committed suicide, McCain chose Palin, Tax cuts suddenly stopped being the be-all end-all cure for economic messes and even the words on its mast head ‘Wall Street’ fell down a notch below ‘Crack Whore’ in society. So how does Crack Whore Journal react to the A-Rod steriod scandal….well check out the link address.

The link is STILL ACTIVE

Violent European fun with sports and crime

It’s an year old, but ageless really…

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Recession Advertising Fun

Not sure if this is real, but this kick ass is awesome. Because Circuit City always sucked. And this is the funniest price war ad I have seen in a while. Via

Are you Professional?

Just the thing I needed to be back from a brief holiday and hiatus. NSFW…actually it’s not safe for home either, but whatever. Thank you The Mae Shi, Buzz Feed, Interwebs and The Professional.

The truth about EU Countries

The Czech Republic takes over the EU Presidency and it started it swell. They commissioned the artist David Cerny to make an art piece. Like all artist, he lied about who is doing what and did it all by himself. The result is a hilarious installation at the EU. Enjoy.

German roads make a Swastika

The entire country of Bulgaria is one big dirty toilet.

France is on an eternal strike.

All Polish people are gay.

See the whole collection here.

7 things about me

Jane tags a prostitute. And The Prostitute tags me. It’s the oldest story in the ad world. So here goes the obligatory seven things about me:

1. Growing up, I have had many imaginary friends. None of them was god.

2. I dream of speaking at attending TED.

3. I don’t own or play any video games.

4. I found out essentially what works in advertising, also works in life – if you can’t be truthful then at least be entertaining.

5. I have less tolerance for people who cannot spell or write full sentences. That’s my thanks for the tag Shaun.

6. My weirdest habit – every time I buy a book, I write my name and date of purchase on the first page.

7. I fucking hate sushi.

Okay now comes the part where I have to tag another seven people. And the thing of it is, who ever worth knowing has played it already and so I am going to cop out and saddle these two with an obligatory ‘24.5 things about me’ post. The math works out. Righto chaps?

Jetpacks

Chimp

Pic, Via.

Creative illustrations, powerful ideas and explanations

Irony this beautiful is fit only for a king. As one of the Christmas specials, The Economist applies Darwinism to the world’s pressing issues and draws an outline of how evolutionary analysis should become part of policy making process. If you are one of those who doesn’t like too many hifalutin words, the illustrations are pretty cool too.

Illustrator: Noma Bar.

Even though a new year has started, I have been reading many articles with headlines that begin with “The End of…”, but Michael Lewis, author of Liar’s Poker, doesn’t mess around. He just calls it ‘The End‘.This Sidney Award winning piece is by far the best explanation I have read about the Wall Street disaster.

Photo Illustration: Ji Lee.

Is that what people are really doing with their money?

Ten countries spend a load of money on recreation. I wish they had defined what exactly they mean by recreation – travel, entertainment or making your neighbor miserable with endless lawsuits?

Five countries seems to value clothes more than anything else. Jerks.

Two countries are stuffing their houses with useless junk. Jerks again.

Brazil, as I expected, is full of smokers and alcoholics. Something had to happen in order to do that many spam ads, right?

Click to make it even bigger, that is, if you like big things.

Bad Ass Santa

New York Times goes passive aggressive on its war on Christmas, featuring armed and dangerous Santa in the land of Sunnis and Shias. I am sure the good-natured Iraqi people showed appreciation for this Humvee riding, torturing killing machine version of Santa.

So yeah, today is Christmas indeed and hence remember the neediest. Be sure to execute them.

Hello, I am a Levi’s Viral.

Hello I am a Viral. And I’m an Ad.

Ad: I have big budgets, grand brand strategies, set time duration…

Viral: I have no purpose and nothing to sell, so no one bothers.

Ad: Everyone is concerned about me. Creative director, Account director, Creatives who created me, creatives who took credit for creating me, and not to mention those focus groupies.

Viral: I was created because lil’ Mac has only two things in hand – time and his virginity.

Enjoy.

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Bag a blonde to stop slave trade

Must you indulge in scam ads too, Amnesty? Apparently, the German arm of Amnesty International is very concerned about slave trade. So concerned that they did this in an airport, you know, to stop slave owners from picking up their slaves.

Extra points for sending a photographer to document the guy who was documenting this.

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Interesting image from the International Horse Show

The sweetest thing about having a blog with no purpose is I can post pictures like this. The Duchess sure likes to horse around.